I've decided to have it done. By done I mean removed. On the site of the clinic I chose for the procedure, they ask "Have you got bored of your tattoo?" A: No, I can hardly see it so how could I get bored. "Are you hiding your tattoo? Does your tattoo not match to your life style anymore?" A: No, my lifestyle hasn't changed that dramatically in the past 8 years. "Is your tattoo putting your career in danger?" A: Obviously not. And finally they got it right: "Do you find your tattoo unsuitable?" Oh yeah. And besides I've had it with the "what does it represent?" questions. So now, for the last time (I hope): my idea of it was to represent the strength and power to reborn and rise like the phoenix bird from it's own ashes, through a half woman-half eagle self-invented creature, with her wings pointed upwards. But, the tattoo guy didn't really get my point and/or my drawing and so didn't most of the people. Not to mention the inks back then were not exactly professional and the black turned into that greenish-blueish jail-like ink color.
Will the removal of it also erase the memory of the first excitement when I drew it on paper and found it to be 'the masterpiece', or the joy when I had it done, showing it off to my best high-school mates, having grandma putting the healing balm on it, or when mum found out about it and acted surprisingly cool, or then later amazingly finding out from my boyfriend that he fell in love when he saw my (tattooed) behind. huh! and you lie to yourself thinking people are not that shallow. the list goes on...No, of course the attached memories won't be erased.
For some while I thought of covering it with a real phoenix bird or a koi carp fish, both having similar meanings to the one I initially had in mind. But searching it up, showed that this is such a big cliche in matters of tattoos and I would just end up having one of the thousands of phoenix birds or kois. And besides, does it make sense for a real 'firebird-personality' to actually have the fire-bird marked on the skin? Shouldn't the point be to look ahead, reborn and not to wear the signs with all the 'baggage' for the rest of your life.
So yes, that's how I realized removing it is the answer. The bird lived its life, now she'll just have to turn into ...well..ashes. No regrets, no whining about it, just looking forward to a clean back with a tattooed history !
Mittwoch, 21. Juli 2010
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